"Pretty Woman: On Beauty & Belonging " by Ada Limón

Sometimes I want to feel forgiven for loving the obvious; like how that makes me obvious, too; like how my favorite flowers are roses, and sunflowers, and sweet peas. Ordinary beauty. Simple things.
 

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On March 23, 1990, the movie Pretty Woman came out. Five days later, I turned 14. I saw it in the movie theater, the local one in my hometown of Sonoma, CA, Sebastiani Theater. I brought a note from my mom because it was rated R. I loved each of its 119 minutes.

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One year later, I would have my first boyfriend: a very kind, very smart, very funny guy. Later that summer, I’d have my second boyfriend, and I’d fall very hard into a young relationship. I’d spell a love letter, “I love you, I really due.” And I’d cry a lot.

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Starting in high school, I wore all black almost everyday. It was easy, and it went with my big hair, and it made me feel cool. My favorite scene in Pretty Woman is the nice sex scene because it’s romantic. And that makes me feel uncool.

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My favorite character in the film is Barney Thompson, the very professional manager of the Regent Beverly Wilshire hotel.  He is the pure example of service. He does not have money; he takes care of people who have money. In most of my adult jobs, I’ve tried to channel Barney Thompson. “I’ll get right on that. Absolutely.”

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Confession: I think Richard Gere is a great actor. He can sing and dance and he’s just an all around solid performer. Also, my father looks a tad like a Mexican version of Richard Gere. This is true. People agree with me on this.

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The year Pretty Woman came out, I was finally able to think I might be pretty one day. This is because my skin cleared up thanks to a good dermatologist in San Francisco.

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I was raised, and still am, a feminist. When I was fifteen, a girl who was really good at being one of the boys, said she wasn’t a feminist, she was a humanist—because she believed in equal rights for all humans not just women—and suddenly I was ashamed of being a feminist (her definition was wrong). Later, she’d hook up with my boyfriend.

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I met Julia Roberts once, at a GQ Man of the Year Award event in New York City. There is no way that woman could be a real hooker. She was extremely classy. She was also tall. She’s 5’9” and I’m 5’2.” My friend once said that only women find Julia Roberts sexy. I just like that she’s got big hair. That’s what links us.

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I stayed in the Regent Beverly Wilshire (the “Reg Bev Wil” as Kit says as she writes it down on a pizza box while she sits on it) two separate times, each time for a week, each time for work. My friend and colleague, who couldn’t come because she was getting chemo, would send emails to me that began, “Dear Pretty Woman.”

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I never think Kit De Luca is going to be okay. I’ve seen this movie a million times. I just don’t think she’s ever going to get off drugs and stop turning tricks. Let’s face it: Kit De Luca doesn’t make it.

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The only black man in this film is Darryl the limousine driver. He’s the reason that Edward Lewis (Gere) finds Vivian Ward’s (Roberts) apartment and then they can live happily ever after.  He was actually a limousine driver. As far as I can tell, it was his only movie role. His name is actually Darrell.

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I’ve never gotten over the scene where Stucky (Jason Alexander) hits Vivien and then tries to rape her.  That guy is a really bad guy and I want a lot of bad things to happen to him.  This is the rare movie where the sex isn’t shocking, but the violence is. I prefer that.

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Pretty Woman marries the Madonna and the Whore. Something we are always trying to do in literature, and in our lives. In Mexico it is trying to reconcile La Virgen and La Malinche. In Spain the film is called Mujer Bonita and is one of the most popular movies shown on television.

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Ultimately, the film really isn’t about romance. It’s about money.  As a poet, I worry about money a lot. More than I’d like to.  It’s hard to feel powerful without money, but every day I work on it.

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The love of my life says he’s seen the movie Pretty Woman at least 10 times by accident. He says it’s definitely a chick flick. Even the hotel room is all pink. She goes into a pink room, and even buys a pink outfit, and falls in love. He likes the Lotus Esprit, and Barney, and the scene where the snail pops off her plate and the guy catches it.

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I ate at restaurants a lot when I was a kid. My mom and my stepdad were both waiters. I know the right forks for most things. But still I get nervous in very fancy situations. Once, across from Liev Schreiber at the National Arts Club, I flipped a whole chicken breast off my plate and it landed in front of him on the white tablecloth.

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My Theater History professor once said, “All great Hollywood films come down to a love story between two men.” You could say that Mr. Morse and Edward have a love story. They’re going to build “great big ships” together.

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I don’t like being realistic. I prefer to be a dreamer. But I am also good at working. I once had a boss, and a dear friend, put her hands on my face and say, “You just need to be put up in a little cabin and supported so you can write your weird ideas.”

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I’ve always liked the fantasy. Even when I am told I’m not supposed to, even when it’s delusional and unhealthy. Right now, I’m writing in a beautiful house on a mountain in the Sonoma Valley, where we are house sitting for friends, and I am in love, and life is full of amazing occasions.

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What has Pretty Woman taught me? That so many people like to escape reality and be moved by something completely unrealistic. That even when we know it’s not real, or right, sometimes we need the fairy tale to remind us that reality is often just as absurd and sad and fantastic.

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And if you’re ever in a fancy hotel room, or a fancy shop, or a fancy restaurant…your job is to simply act as if you belong. Every one of us feels out of place at times. That’s how the world works. Don’t be shy. Wear the borrowed jewels with pride; every one of us is an ordinary thing deserving of beauty.

Ada Limón is the author of three books of poetry, including Lucky Wreck (Autumn House Press, 2006), This Big Fake World (Pearl Editions, 2007), and Sharks in the Rivers (Milkweed Editions, 2010). Her work has appeared in numerous magazines including, Harvard Review, Poetry Daily, and The New Yorker. She is currently finishing her first novel, a book of essays, and a new collection of poems. She works as a writer and lives in Kentucky and California.